A Lesson on Confrontation

​Somehow, somewhere in athletics we were taught to confront people for wrongdoing in front of others.  Call them out in front of the entire team.  If there’s a issue, the leader is supposed to call the person out and have them right their wrongs.  Because they broke team rules or went against team culture. 

I’ve found that calling people out in front of the entire group does more harm than help.  

We have to remember that people have feelings and don’t like to be viewed as anything less than perfect.  We are insecure.  We don’t like to be wrong.  We don’t like to be wrong in front of our peers.  We like to believe we have it all together.  But that’s not the truth.  There is so much we have to work on and improve on.  

Confronting someone for doing wrong is tough because we’re afraid of conflict. I’ve found that how we confront this person is the most important factor.  When someone makes a mistake we should go to that person in private and address the issue.  They are more likely to listen, be less aggressive, apologize and fix the issue.  

This principle can be found in Scripture in Matthew 18:15 as Jesus is describing how to confront a believer that sins against us.  While this message specifically applies to believers in the church, the principle holds true with non-believers as well.  

When we call people out in front of their peers, they will feel attacked and will ignore your message as a result.  When you approach them privately with less attention placed on the situation, they are more likely to change and relationships become stronger.